i'm teaching you a valuable lesson so you don't have to go through learning it yourself

it's been a long time, but geography and time dictated that i,
[deep breath]
ventured into a macdonalds fast food outlet today.

Immediately I twas pleasantly surprised. It seems - When it happened, I
don't know...
as I say, I literally haven't entered one in at least 4 years.
... but they seem to have undergone some sort of transformation
from the
scabby truck-stop with a carpet of damp lettuce
into
a slighly more pleasant road-side café
with curtains
and attractive counter staff >
(this is probably not universal admittedly)
> wearing classy air hostess outfits.

"blimey"
thought I
"maybe macdonalds is nice now"
they even had a posher looking menu featuring ' deli sandwiches' and
'fruit'

I ordered a sweet chili chicken deli on brown
I felt cosmopolitan
It would be prepared especially for me

for a while I was hopeful.

Then I waited.
For longer than it would take to rear, kill and prepare the
chicken.

fast food?
finally it arrived... after i'd been standing like a lemon
or some other citrus vegetable

here we go - the conclusive test:
oh.
the bag was sticky -
covered in sweet chili sauce;
I'd asked for brown bread, this was a sort of light grey;
customary limp/damp salad;
a token gesture of chicken that - literally - only filled a
quarter of the "bread;"
same old generic processed food taste for the jellified sauce;

At least I genuinely believed it was real chicken.

but otherwise:
there's a reason I stopped going to maccy-d's
& it still stands.
Eeeeeuuuuurrrrgggggghhhhhhh