i'm the leader of the pack... BRUM BRUM BRUM

very very occasionally coincidence takes hold and you find yourself sitting at the traffic lights in angel with 20 or more other bikes of various shapes and sizes.
it's nice.
i don't really have any biker friends so this is the nearest i get to riding with a pack.
i like the way the noise of all the engines makes my tummy vibrate.
i get a little tingle in my saddle.

i'm under instruction

... to put this picture up:

i have no problem with that.




holy shi-ite, i just noticed i've got only 109 days before i go to siberia. gadzoons!

i'm not entirely responsible for this

i'm fan #6257390233

so, the other night at the ben folds gig.
ben folds is awesome. the gig rocked. rocked like a pirate ship in a crazy-ass sea.
if you haven't heard him or his band 'ben folds five' you need to sort that out right now.

i'm not going to go into details about the other stuff, that'd be a bit innappropriate. suffice to say i was one of five people. my very good traveling buddy was there with a young lady. i couldn't be happier for him. after searching high and low, he's found someone really quite super to share some quality time with. she is good. i like her.

the other couple were my ex and what appears to be her new boyfriend. if they're not together yet they really should sort it out, they seem to have a lot of fun with eachother.

what's with that weirdness you get with old flames? it's just a life fact that sometimes people split up. often theres a period of time afterwards when it's shitty, but then that ends and you get on with your life. still, though, when your paths cross again, it's odd. there's a bunch of stuff you want to say, there's a bunch of stuff you don't want to say. this also leaves eventually, but on what terms?

there was a specific oddness about tuesday evening. when she & i broke up, a few of ben folds songs helped ease the process. specifically 'gone' and 'learn to live with what you are.' i had a bit of a moment at the gig during a stupidly good performance of gone. i've already said i couldn't be happier for whackwit and his new squeeze. the same goes for b-x. you can't really talk at a gig, (or you shouldn't, guys. stop it if you're one of those people) but i'm incredibly happy for her. the weirdness will subside, so that'll be nice.

strangely, when we split, it seemed to be because she wanted to be single. i was desperately against the single life. but she's the first to go out and get a chap and now i'm loving the freedom. the times they are a-changing. yup.

i should finish with a joke. if i keep writing self-indulgent heavy going sentimental cack i'll lose my two person regular reading fan-base.

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

ah, daytime humour.

i'm foamy

thoroughly enjoyed this:
R.I.P laundry girl

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i'm out of focus

i haven't slept properly in nearly three weeks. no more than four hours a night. it's very annoying. i am tired. stoopid sleep.

i'm cathartic

sorry about that last entry. a tad self-indulgent, what.

it was about something that happened three years ago. 'twas on my mind for some reason.
i'm in the process of formulating a much more interesting blog about some other recent experiences. this will include a rather odd evening...
i've just got back from a fantastic ben folds gig that aside from the superb performance from ben & co. can be described in three seemingly random words:

1. weird
2. gooseberry
3. closed

yeah.
okay then.

i'm three years older

the night hung like shadowed silver. pavement glistened with dusted glitter. mind wandered as i wandered, the sweet aftertaste of a two-week carousel ride.
i moved as if sliding on the ice, you sent a message.
i wanted to save it to read in bed,
i wanted to have it as i settled back to old.
i knew what it would say.
i knew the happiness and the sadness it would hold.
the curled lips,
the tired eyes.

so i left it. ignored it. saved it. and led myself underground to commit the distance. a missing tunnel.

quiet urban forest led me home. itchy fingers begged for the perfect message,
until my street.
and won.
the tiny electronic impulses in the tiny electronic box brought up the tiny electronic letters.

it wasn't what i thought it would say.

you sent a message. you said "i don't have to work after all. we've got the evening before..."

it.
ends.

and i should have turned round and retraced my steps. even just for an hour.
just for an hour.

i'm feeling the need for a p.a.

i would like a donna moss please.

that is all.

i'm cramming in the genres

at last!

i ordered Plus-Tech Squeeze Box’s album “CARTOOOM!” in october, and it’s finally arrived. Praise Be!

they are a Japanese electro-funk pop computer-jazz band. yup. in this album they’ve managed to squeeze in just about every musical genre known to musical man. it’s an audio assault that makes your head hurt after 2 minutes.

high speed breakbeat interspersed with bluegrass banjo, crowbar in a few looney toon inspired riffs, fill with filthy dirrty drum & bass, insert an 80’s style rock ballad and hold it all together with lasers… and you’ve just about worked out what’s going on in the first four tracks.

they are nuts. i love them because this is what I reckon music will sound like in a thousand years time. go to their myspace, you might hear a snippet of the bonkers-ness.

the best song is track 8 - "THE mARTIN SHOW!!"
but my favourite lyrics are from track 9 - "Uncle Chicken's drag rag" :

hang on! take care! don't fall!
i was born in wyoming
the name is uncle chicken cutter
keep it in your mind

see that mountain?
wyatt erp was hiding
see that ravine?
it was found in time of gold rush
cart continues running western free way
name is uncle chicken's cutter super preppy flapper cart!

seriously.

i'm a fan of dry travel

i have decided to buy a car to supplement my motorbikes once i get back from siberia. so now i have the fun task of having a bit of a think about what car i want. currently in the running are:

some sort of kick-ass jeep:
lovely and rugged. i could drive over/through anything. i love them but i will feel environmentally evil. although you can get a lot that run on LPG.
the best: land rover defender with pick-up back and crew cab
the worst: porsche cayenne

big fat american luxury sedan:
see entry for jeep, but without the environmentally happy option.
the best: 1959 cadillac eldorado
the worst: 2006 ford crown

ickle two seater sports car:
so much fun, but i'm not a hairdresser. and is it enough different to a motorbike?
the best: ac cobra
the worst: audi tt

tarmac bustin' street be-atch:
is that just silly? (i hope not)
the best: anything with a flame paint job
the worst: anything without a flame paint-job

sweet-ass funky love-wagon van type geezer:
perfect for carting all the little gaffertapers around + drum kit + y'know all sorts of stuff.
the best: the a-team gmc
the worst: ldv sherpa


basically, i'll consider anything if it isn't a wee hatchback designed for old ladies to do their shopping in.
why is it that chavs have decided that a shopping trolley with £20,000 worth of low-quality fibre glass, terrible paint work and (literal) spoilers, is the ultimate driving machine? hatch-backs were designed so your granny didn't have to lift her shopping far to the boot.

it's the same as those kids who put sports exhausts on scooters.

morons.

but anyway, i welcome suggestions. please leave a comment with any ideas. i will entertain them all (except the hatchbacks).

(unless it's an amc gremlin which are awesome).

i'm mashing up movies

it wasn't me who did them, don't be under that impression.




there are a lot of these, here are some of my favourites