"hello little boy, whats your name?"
"it's ken, santa"
"and have you been a good boy, ken?"
"well, i was the deputy co-team-leader for the investment & adherence focus group on the TODGER project."
"and what would you like for christmas, ken?"
"i'd like to shift any blame for the state of the world economy right away from me."
"oh well, ken, was it your fault?"
"i'd like to think i had nothing to do with it. i was merely a pawn accepting orders and only made a bad decision when it meant i made more money for my bonus pot. some of which i'd spend on my family."
"is there anything else you'd like for christmas, ken?"
"haven't you already got some of that, ken?"
"'want' is not a very nice word, ken. the elves and i always say 'i want, doesn't get.'"
"i'd also like a prostitute to sniff cocaine from."
"next child please."