Sunday, 30 September 2007

god gave rock & roll to you

funny wizard manbill bailey is currently doing a couple of nights at the riverside studios, a 'pre-stadium tour' testing out some new material with small audiences before cradling it in front of big crowds. probably a good plan with his particular brand of dungeons & dragons garden shed based whimsy that much of his comedy is themed upon.

he is a very funny man. i did laugh at him muchly. to that point where your face becomes painful and it's better to stop laughing or you might sprain a face-muscle. you will not be able to guess where i'll head eventually with this blog.

should've worn a bigger badgemy two favourite observations were these:
from the killers song all these things that i've done a section sees them repeating the phrase "i got soul, but i'm not a soldier." nice little phrase that. but made up of two things that are completely disconnected. you might as well say "i've got ham, but i'm not a hamster."

my idea was "i've got a badge, but i'm not a badger"

secondly, bill talked about george bush. quite a lot actually. he appears to have had a recent switcheroonie with his focus and rather than basing all his comedy on owls and the west country and wooden panels, has become a lot more political. he described president bush leading america as something "pointless and harmless and stupid on top of a much more dangerous thing" . . rather like a bobble hat on a leopard. or a tanktop on a scorpion.

emotive and probably successful advertising. oh yes, and exploitative and disrespectfulthis bought up the point that america is starting to teach creationism over evolution in schools, which very quickly led to a debate about a book called the god delusion which seeks to disprove the existence of god and the pointlessness of religion. bill sought to get audience members to shout out summaries of the book, probably hoping for something like: the god delusion contends that a supernatural creator most likely does not exist and that belief in a god and religion, qualifies as a delusion, which the writer defines as a persistent false belief held in the face of strong contradictory evidence.

"christianity is stupid!" called out a drunk woman in front of me, helpfully.

i thought i'd paid for a comedy show, but in another situation i would've perhaps said "anyone who spends enough time and energy researching with a specific point and direction and a talent for the written word could probably write an intellectual book that encourages it's reader to believe every word, polarising their opinion and closing their mind to any other alternative. rather than creating a readership that is accepting of other opinions and ideas, he creates a group of people that are completely unnecessarily militant in their anger against anyone who happens to disagree."

the idiot’s guide to acceptance and humilitythat reminds me of something. =>


see, i told you you wouldn't guess where i was heading with this.

i've written about this subject before, but the down point of last night's gig has incensed me somewhat to comment on the idea again. you see, this book is one of the culprits that joins a long list of sources that cause way more problems than they supposedly seek to solve. it's a trend of the media to exclude religion and people of religion, to turn the average responder against the idea of faith. religious people are publicly displayed to be freaks, or idiots, or dangerous. in modern times, the latter is an easy portrayal and probably sells you a lot of books or airtime.

what annoys me is the focus on the fraction of religious people that are freaks or idiots or dangerous, the reason being "because it's good telly." the normal person with faith, 99.9% of christians, muslims, jews etc. are harmless and reasonable and just living out their life in a way that makes them happy and comfortable. but there's no point in writing a crime thriller about andrew macintosh who has a wife and two kids, has never raped or abused anyone, never committed murder or any acts of terrorism but does run a church hall youth club every saturday and takes his family to church on a sunday morning before going to his mum's house for roast lunch.

here's a question for you: the 0.01% of human beings who are freaks, idiots or dangerous.... where would you rather they were?
a)within a social community (religious or otherwise) who are most likely trying to help them and guide them towards a more reasonable life outlook, possibly seeing they have psychological disorder and seeking out specialist help.
b)at home, alone and unmonitored with only their damaging psyche for company.

thought so.


islamic fundamentalism is to islam
as the ku klux klan is to christianity

whatever you believe about religion, the truth is that the vast majority of people with faith are not militant and angry and seeking to destroy everyone else. they're just living with a quiet respect for their god, with a comforting feeling that there is something looking over them who has a bigger plan that we as humans can never comprehend. i'm pretty comforted by that. it's my belief that is the truth. that's what helps me live my life as a good person. but i'm not you, you probably have a different way of doing it and that doesn't bother me in the slightest, as long as your aim is to be a good person. if your aim in life is to be an arsehole we probably won't get along very well, and i won't feel any kind of loss at that.

written by geniuses, believed by idiotsunfortunately, there is a huge cross section of society that read, see or hear something and instantly believe and accept it without considering their own beliefs, the beliefs of the people around them or any additional research or evidence around the subject. these people watch the news and accept it as the whole truth and nothing but the truth. even bbc news, with it's aim of indifference and unbiased reporting can only broadcast a portion of the events of the world. if you don't believe me, try and summarise the entire iraq war in three minutes... go! it becomes a sort of "me tarzan, you jane" reporting.

"israel good, palestine baaad."

i'll finish with an analogy that interests me:

three people are blindfolded, led to an elephant and encouraged to touch it. the first is a christian. he says that the thing he feels is long and muscular and bendy so it must be some sort of large snake.
the second - a muslim - says he feels something wide and vertical and round with a rough surface. it must be a tree.
the third is an agnostic. he feels a solid surface with a rough texture but from where he's standing he can't feel any edges or get the idea of what shape the thing is.

there is a fourth person. he's an atheist, but he's in a different zoo and there aren't any animals there.

of course, it could all be lies

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

call me the breeze

on my way home today a busker was playing freebird. now there's a track that will without fail make you feel good.

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

(you drive me) crazy

it would be unfair on my friends if i kept this piece of genius youtube video from them after getting so much enjoyment out of it myself:

aw, bless 'im

Monday, 10 September 2007

Thursday, 6 September 2007

sugar and spice

something nice happened today

maybe some more nice things will happen as a result

that would be nice

Monday, 3 September 2007

what a wonderful world

here we go again

sometimes you go to gigs, and it's more than just a gig. it's more than standing in a venue watching a bunch of performers construct music in front of you. it's more that seeing the inner workings of how that song you like is made. it's more than passive reception of soundwaves.

the polyphonic spree look like a cult. their songs echo the attidudes of hippies and free love in the sixties. and there are a lot of them. but the similarities are not real, there's no evidence of blind drug-fuelled stupour or suicide pacts. what there appears to be is a bunch of people who have found the exact place they want to be; making great music with the people they love; and through this, they've fallen in love with being alive in a wonderful world.

there were 22 people on stage. guitars, percussion, brass, harps, strings and more singers than you might think you'd ever need... out of every one of them poured love and energy and a downright thrill of being there, on stage, in that moment, with their friends, belting out music that absolutely refuses to let you feel a moment of sadness or worry. the symptoms of this experience could - i suppose - grant them the 'cult' label; because a new feeling came over me, unlike any band i've seen and enjoyed before, i desperately wanted to be part of this one. i wanted to be there, in that group. they looked like they were having as much, if not more fun, than the audience. and not in a bad way, because i've barely seen a gig crowd so wound up and excited.

the spree performed in identical outfits, though not their usual hippy love-smocks. dressed in black button tops not disimilar to kim jong il's outfits apart from the embroidered symbols of love, they appeared on stage through a heartshape cut out of a curtain by Tim DeLaughter, the 'leader' of the band. i hadn't heard the new album and didn't know half of the songs in the set, but it didn't matter. they played for about an hour, a wall of sound declaring the wonder of the world and the miracle of life and how everything is beautiful when we all love eachother. i couldn't help but be whisked away to this fantastic-reality, dreaming of the simplicity of life in the arms of a loved one laying in a field in texas.


especial detail that made the gig for me were the six female backing singers on risers that had choreographed some sort of "avril lavigne teenaged angst-ridden rock kitten style" dance to every song. very sexy.

when they were done, the crowd wanted more. they wanted more love. without desisting the cries for more the band had to reappear - this time in their love-smocks - and encored for over half an hour. they kept going and going, driven by the audience's appreciation. never outstaying their welcome. we loved it. even the 15 minutes where no music was played, instead to the sound of roaring applause the entire band paraded through the audience shaking hands with the public. stalls and balcony. in the end they even had to finish on a song that they hadn't rehearsed or played in six months. brilliant. absolutely brilliant. shot the evening straight into my top five gigs, without doubt.

oh yeah, and you haven't lived until you've heard nirvana's lithium covered by a seven-member choir, two keyboards, percussion, bass, cello, two guitars, flute, trumpet, trombone, violin, viola, french horn, harp and a lead singer that is part rock legend and part witch doctor.

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

skin

also, because we were at a festival i got a temporary tat (a necessary process for anyone at a festival, methinks). i've wanted a tattoo for ages and can't decide where or what to get.

thoughts please....

(why must i be) a teenager in love?


well, they done it again, they did. the cast of return to the forbidden planet '07 pulled it out of the bag and absolutely blew the minds of everyone around them; the audience's, the organisers' and mine. this bank holiday the faith, hope and gaffertape theatre company kicked ass twice with two more performances of the musical that we put together in 5 days earlier this month.

we'd been asked by greenbelt to perform after wowing the punters and overfilling one of their venues last year. they gave us a venue twice as big this year, and we managed to do the same. 700 people queued and sat for over three hours in scorching heat to fall in love with - what i think are - the greatest, most hardworking, most loving group of people i will ever meet. we had to turn 200 people away there were so many.

and the guys didn't disappoint. i and the other gaffertape leaders will find it hard to accept any responsibility for what happened within that marquee on saturday and monday. it was all the performers. they stormed through the best performance ever seen in the 14-year history of gaffertape, and blew the seams off that tent. i'm so proud.

it's slightly odd declaring that i love a bunch of teenagers and miss them like a mentalist. but i do. they are amazing, and i'll be a-counting down the days until i see them again.

get rich (or die tryin')


i'm not going to make a habit of continuously picking out and commenting on the faults of popular culture. i like doing it, those who've regularly read my blog and/or know me well know that i could quite easily churn out a list of a hundred things that bug me about the falsely named pop-'cultural' world that surrounds us. i do like doing it. it's like a release and helps me get through the day.

and we all like the sound of our own opinions don't we?

but i won't do it every time. the last post was. this post is. sometimes that's just the way things pan out.

and so here's the reason for this post:
kanye west came to my venue yesterday to do a gig organised by vodafone. i'm not a big fan of his music. i liked golddigga, but to be honest the rest sound far too similar; a bit of rap interspersed with some sample from some old track that he's found in some record collection. but while i may not be a huge fan, i expected him to put on a pretty good performance full of energy and spectacle.

nope.

pretty much the worst gig i've ever seen. nothing to do with the music, although it sounded pretty awful. this wasn't the fault of kanye, but the fault of his PR guy and sound engineer; an american who - without irony - introduced himself as 'hotdog.' yuh. from that moment on i couldn't take him seriously. he was a dick, but let's not dwell on him other than this conversation between one of the girls from the orchestra and him:

HARPIST: hi, um... hotdog. is it possible we [the orchestra] could have some more light on stage? we can't see our music, and it's just quite dark
HOTDOG: that's hip-hop

what a penis. turns out his first name is brian, which might explain reverting to hotdog.

so to the gig. it was due to start at 8pm. no sign of kanye. not at 8.15, 8.30, 9.00... eventually at 9.20 june sarpong arrives on stage to lull the booing audience. a struggle for her without a personality to rely on. but after an awkward ten minutes she says "now the moment you've all been waiting for, the most exciting thing in music right now, ladies & gents... KANYE WEST!"

the crowd goes wild.

the band kicks in.

the lights go crazy.

... and everything fizzles out.

a few more minutes. apparently he had left the venue at 8 without telling anyone. he never explained why. why should he?.. he's kanye west.

then it all starts up again and on he comes, churning out one of his songs. and the gig has commenced. kind of. he doesn't make it through any song. constantly he stops in the middle of a track and says something to the effect of "i'm going to start again from the second verse." which he does; with the production crew staring in confusion and disbelief at each other. it's being recorded 'as-live' for channel 4. after 3-4 stop/start songs the director is practically pulling clumps of his own hair out.

it was horrible. a masterclass in how not to do a gig.
some things you really shouldn't do (that he did anyway):

  1. attempt a televised gig without really rehearsing
  2. make a big deal about forgetting your own lyrics and restart the song
  3. add new bits that throw off your band
  4. try to improvise with a clearly unprepared 30-piece string orchestra
  5. tell the audience they are "boring" and should "try to look more interested"
  6. suggest that the audience don't recognise a real star when there is one right in front of them
  7. try and do a costume change between songs and when you don't have time, tell everyone to stop over the microphone
  8. stop the gig to have a nonsensical rant about your bitter rival 50 cent
  9. stop doing songs to talk through the process of writing your latest hit single...

it was at that point that the audience realised they were bored and began leaving. without exaggeration, at least a quarter of the audience had left well before the end of the set. about 500 people.

it was like watching a car crash happen in slow-motion. it was terrible. the organisers and i stared together in disbelief as the entire event slowly ground to an expensive mess. i thought it was very funny, myself. tammy, the production manager didn't seem to agree. maybe she was thinking how they were going to turn about 20 minutes of good footage into an hour long special for t4, to be broadcast on the 2nd september. gulp.

man, it was embarrassing. but not surprising when you attempt to work with someone who is clearly
98% ego and
2% tasteless expensive clothing.

i was reminded of this video. not only is the final revelation a piece of brilliance, but the angry indecipherable rambling leading up to it is quite something.


and i'm not the only one who agrees:
MTV
HOLY MOLY
and i'm sure there are plenty of others...

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

the x-files

csi: crime scene investigation is a popular show watched by over 100 people around the world. despite never being bothered before, there was nothing good on telly this evening so i thought i'd give it a shot.

i will now add it to the list of "nothing good on telly," on a par with casualty, but with a bigger budget. and slightly more predictable. with more stereotypical characters, cliched script, rushed ending, cheesey story and dull, long, wordy scenes.

but that was just one episode.

the theme tune is good though, "who are you" by The Who. good choice. you don't get many of them from jerry bruckheimer.

Sunday, 12 August 2007

do you wanna be in my gang?

through the Power Of Facebook, i've just come back from a birthday party of someone who i haven't see since a-levels. 10 years ago. which was nice.

very amusingly, it turns out that there has been a rumour amongst all my old school friends that i'd disappeared and joined a cult, and i wasn't allowed to contact my friends or family. how that came about i have no idea. but i find it very funny.

hah!

Thursday, 9 August 2007

space oddity


it feels a little bit like all the energy has been removed from my body. for the last few days, every time i've turned up at work the first comment has been something to the effect of "goodness me young fellow-me-lad, every day you look worse than the last, young fellow-me-lad." or something very similar.

there is a very good reason. it's the same reason that i haven't really blogged anything for a good while.

i bin busy.

but doing awesome stuff is way better than writing about awesome stuff, so .. um, yep, totally okay with it y'know.

last week i done a thing that makes the tiredness worthwhile.

some of you may remember last year i worked with some kids doing a show at the greenbelt festival. well, it was a long time in preparation, but we done another show.

about 40 of us gathered together a week ago last sunday, 7 leaders and 30 odd young people aged between 15-22. our task: to prepare, produce and perform return to the forbidden planet in a... week.

auditions on the sunday evening. we casted overnight. then rehearsals began first thing on monday and from then on it was an intensive week of crazy spacedoods, rockin' spacechoons, dancin, singin, playin, buildin, not-sleepin and all things you can think of relevant to musicals and space.

and after 5 days, we put on a show. saturday and sunday. and i've never been more proud of anything i've done, or anyone i've known, than the 3 hours of sunday afternoon spent behind my tech-desk driving the show and trying to concentrate on what i was doing, when in front of me a bunch of my favourite people knocked the socks off the audience. an audience who i think expected very little. who had gone to a show thinking that all you could produce in a week would be someone on a piano and 30 young people singing songs together. if this is true, then they must've been blown completely away.

physically, we had an amazing set, staging, lighting, sound, big projected graphics, incredible costumes and a props list as long as mr. tickle's arm. but all that was just decoration. within all this fancy looking stuff were a full rock 'n roll band with brass section, and the hardest working musicians you'd ever meet (i've worked with professional musicians - they are lay-zeeee). then on stage, a selection of the finest people you'd ever be lucky enough to meet. they pulled it out of the bag, put on a jawdropping performance. i'm still amazed they did it to such a standard. brilliant singing, absolutely hilarious comic acting, full-on dance routines, with a shakespearian script no less! especially when i spent most of the wednesday before the show thinking "we might not pull this one off."

but by golly we did. and a tear of pride did reach mine eye.


to the guys of faith, hope and gaffertape 2007 theatre week: you rule. you absolutely rule. you rule, you rule, you rule. each of you made for one of the best weeks i've ever had. you worked so hard and ended up with an undeniably flappin awesome show, way way more superb than anyone could've expected. i miss you all. you rule. you absolutely rule.

and the BBC said this

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

bad

lordy me, this is definitely in the top ten weirdest things i've ever seen.

and i've seen some weird shit.

1500 prison inmates in a filipino jail, dancin' ...

enjoy:

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

from dusk til dawn

man, i'm busy at the moment. for those of you who regularly read (rumour has it) i'm not yet pushing up daisies or anything - just my social calendar seems to have exploded and i'm never in anymore.

it's quite nice.

my bank account disagrees.

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

ghost rider

for a long time now, i've wondered how brian harvey managed to run himself over with his own car. perhaps this video will help us understand.

Monday, 16 July 2007

Saturday, 14 July 2007

waterworld

if no-one has yet coined the phrase "splash mob" for the events today in hyde park, let it be forever known that i invented it.

thanks to facebook, today a dry(?)run of next years BIGGEST EVER WATER FIGHT! started at 1300hrs. i was there, and i looked like this:

it was going to be much bigger, but expected bad weather and a security alert got it canceled. still, about 100 people turned up. if i canceled something and a hundred people still turned up i'd be quite impressed. it was brilliant.

i love london. roll on next year when maybe all of the 100,000 people that said they would come won't be put off by a bit of rain and some bombs.

Friday, 13 July 2007

singin' in the rain

i don't listen to the radio. generally it's rubbish and plays the same 10 tracks over and over again interspersed with some gobby lout and his-her mates jabbering on about big brother and eastenders. i tire of that very quickly.

if only we could bring back john peel.

today i found out that the number one song is an urban song about an umbrella. i looked it up on youtube to find that its another meaningless rap meets nonsensical droning songstress computer generated song about letting a boy join her under her um-BER-ella ella ella ella.

there's so much awesome music out there, how is this number one?!

Monday, 9 July 2007

fred jones pt. 2

sequel anyone?

Thursday, 5 July 2007

the best things in life are free

last night i spent the evening with a colombian girl with the energy of a stick of dynamite filled with beans, a polish goth and a mongolian girl who is scared of the countryside, a russian girl who had a stroke in her early twenties, a retired gay methodist minister and sunni muslim security guard who got so hysterical after falling in love with a blond girl on the other side of the pub, we had to leave.

i love london.

sometimes the random hand you're dealt is unbeatable.