Wednesday, 24 March 2010

the specialist

i know you love hearing about the mebs i work with, and their constant list of idiotic failings. i've got a real beauty for you from this morning.
here's it is:

the conference had started (late). it was an international one with audio phone conferencing from all over the world, and a video conference that was just to Poole (on the south coast if you're a foreign body).

during the conference they decided someone from india should do a presentation.

THEM: hey, could you go ahead and put india up on the main screen?
ME: no, i'm afraid not.
THEM: oh... why not?
ME: because they are on a telephone.
THEM: but don't you have video conference facilities?
ME: yes, but they are dialled in on a telephone.
THEM: oh. what does that mean?
ME: "dialled in on a telephone"?
THEM: yes.

person in india begins to speak over the phone to the auditorium here in london. my conversation continues at the back of the room.

ME: .... it means they are on a telephone in india listening to our conference, and if they speak we can hear them.
THEM: but we can't put them on screen?
ME: no. i'm afraid not.
THEM: but we can put Poole on screen?
ME: yes. they are dialled in on a video conference.
THEM: so why can't we put india on screen?
ME: they are on a telephone.
THEM: can we dial them in on a video conference instead?
ME: yes, but we will only be able to hear them.
THEM: oh really, why is that?
ME: because they only have a phone. a phone does not have a camera in it.
THEM: my phone has a camera in it.
ME: yes. i see that. .... it is very different technology i'm afraid.
THEM: but could i dial them with my phone, and then we could connect it up to our system here?
ME: uh... let's start from the beginning. what phone do they have in india?
THEM: i don't know.
ME: okay. what phone do you have?
THEM: a blackberry.
ME: right. well perhaps you should take it to india.
THEM: ha ha!
ME: yep. funny. also... irrelevant, as the person in india has finished what they were saying.
THEM: okay, thanks anyway for trying.
ME: no worries.

today i invented the word "meb."

meb pronounced /meb : a person of such stupidity that no other word will do. "look at that guy, he is such a meb"

No comments: