go west

the London transport museum is bloody ace. after a ridiculous week of no-sleep, I found nothing better than sharing an afternoon at gordons wine bar with a a hot girl and a shit-load of cheese... followed by an impromptu trip round the gallery of transportational delights that can be found in covent garden.

highlights included the old london underground trains, from back when they were steam-powered and carved from a single grain of oak. I also planned on buying a vintage bus - to drive around the country spreading improvised comedy to the uninformed masses with a team of impro-genies - after seeing a kelly green 1950's single-decked wonder parked in the main hall.

I'd call it The ImproBus. driving it around dressed in my 1950's bus drivers uniform people will gasp and say things like "wow, he must be the king of all Israel".

but they'd only be half right.

speaking of being half right, the spell check feature on the new iPhone is both brilliant and debilitating. gnnnhhh. although it does recognise the word improv, which is a vast vast improvement on the piece of shit HTC dickhead that I had previously. which reminds me, I was going to make a video of it's demise using my iPhone, but I haven't quite decided the details of the punishment it deserves.

okay, I haven't done a competition for a while. so here's one:
I want to beat the shit out of my old piece-of-sphincter HTC phone and record it. but how should I do it?
answers please.
and bear in mind, this phone made my life a misery for 18 months; way worse than any flood or famine you've ever seen on TV.
I had thought I'd either set fire to it only to urinate on it, or drive a series of increasingly sized nails into it... but see if you can be even more creative.

go on, you're fine people with imaginations that could fist a dragon.

good luck.