i'm paper

"only boring people get bored" - my mum

with the layers of skin removed from my knees, i seem to have lost a few levels of depth. before tuesday my head would be constantly alive with thoughts of The Big Trip to the east, getting a jeep, working, playing, a friend's forthcoming 21st birthday, troubadour's stand-up gig, world poverty, tidying the house, life, love, the universe, injustice, whether i should give up motorcycling, friends, family, that girl, stuff, stuff, stuff. i could up and go out at a moments notice, i could plan what i wanted, go anywhere without checking with anyone... basically i had a multifaceted, unpredictable and pretty free life, limited only by my imagination, will and bank account.

i like to think i'm a guy with a few strings to my bow.

then there was tuesday and sliding along tarmac at a number of miles per hour. it's more frustrating than anything else. i've turned into a one-dimensional being of limited movement. today is better, i'm able to concentrate on things other than the pain in my limbs. yep, that's better. yesterday i tried watching the west wing, but generally my mind's focus remained "ouch."

it's boring, not being able to walk. and still, my focus is largely on the accident and what to do with the wreck that calls itself my motorbike, counting down the minutes to my next painkiller and yes, that recurring ouch.

oh well. i plan on healing pretty quickly. my left knee is still bleeding, but i think it will for a while. any of the medical staff that came to see me at a&e on tuesday sucked air through their teeth and said "wow, you've gone pretty deep there."

tomorrow i'm going to return to a near normal life. it'll be slower for a while, but more fun. probably not much ice-skating or dancing for a while. though i reckon i could do a mean robot-man.