Thursday, 30 July 2009

fuck me pumps

the building i work in is a very corporate head office with about 18 thousand staff. and when i say "very corporate" what i actually mean is "as snobbish as a royal gynecologist." i actually got an official warning once, for walking around with my shirt sleeves rolled up.
and my penis hanging out.

anyway, judging by how prissy the management is it's been quite a surprise to find that more and more of the female members of staff are being allowed to wear sexual role-play clothing to the office.

i believe the colloquial expression for them is "fuck-me pumps" and they really are showing up on the ends of some otherwise quite unassuming legs. i guess a lot of it is to do with the whole glass-ceiling nonsense, and some women deciding the best way to progress their career is by giving themselves the calves of a porn-star.

you've got to admire the honesty of the name, though. "fuck-me pumps" doesn't beat about the bush (if you'd pardon the depravity of the expression). not like the mini-skirt, balcony bra or shakti tattoos (at the base of the spine); that hide their true reason behind innocent sounding words.
maybe we should start coining some new expressions for those three. i suggest:
"potential minge-frame"
and "spunk target"
... respectively.

but you should never do all three at once, that would be slutty. unless you're combining them with some fuck-pumps. then it's irony.

i was going to take some phone pictures of women wearing them at work, to prove their new ubiquitous-ness. it turns out that's not okay with HR. and its hard to hide an erection in a polyester suit.

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