i'm about to reveal a hollywood secret

perhaps the biggest discovery of last millennia was the R.D.G.U. it was discovered in approximately 1996 by three young explorers: the urban cowboy, wide-eyed troubadour and whackwit, although it had been working of it's own accord for many years previous to this.

the R.D.G.U. was spotted whilst a scientific experiment was taking place in the arizona desert. it was an experiment to learn more of the ecosystems of the world and increase the longevity of foreseeable human existence on this earth. an enormous dome-like structure was built, in it were various sections simulating each of the earth's main climatic environments: woodland, rainforest, desert, swamplands etc. certain mistakes were made during the experiment that led to the R.D.G.U's first spotting. the biodome was due to be sealed for a year with 6 highly decorated scientists inside, each a leading expert in their field. they would live inside the airtight dome and survive only on the faculties that nature gave them for those 365 days, running various tests along the way.

unfortunately the experiment was comprimised by two unplanned foreign bodies, two surfus moronicus got into the dome and were trapped inside for the full 365 days. while this was eventually utilised and allowed scientific research into chaos theory, out of the chaos came the R.D.G.U. into the public eye.

the R.D.G.U. (Random Dwarf Generation Unit) appeared from nowhere, without warning. it is not yet known who (or what) designed and built it. perhaps the ghosts of long dead film directors. perhaps martian film-buffs. the theories are infinite.

the R.D.G.U. is - in layman's terms - a machine to make any film/movie amazing, regardless of it's content, storyline, actors, director and so on. it does this by inserting a dwarf at a completely chance point of the film. the dwarf may be dancing, standing still, wiggling or any number of other actions. the one rule is that they must not have anything to do with the film itself. if said dwarf has a character name, a spoken line integral to the plot, a story changing presence in any way shape or form then it has not been created by the R.D.G.U. on 'pure' setting.

if a film includes a purebreed random dwarf then it is automatically a work of filmic genius. it can be used by simply placing the machine within a mile radius of a film-set. it must be fed with meat and dice. to add a random dwarf in post-production you simply add a copy of the final edit to the ingredients. (click on below diagram)

have you witnessed a random dwarf?
documented sightings include:

billy madison (1995)
biodome (1996)
love & sex (2000)
stander (2003) .. though it is a long distance shot & could be a child

i have seen others but have long forgotten them. i will update this list constantly


if you think you have seen random dwarf, please let me know. i am compiling the first official list.