10 ways I could resign (but will probably do it normally so I stand a chance of getting freelance work):
1. distribute fliers advertising my new seminar on "how to avoid your work-based pedophile ring being detected".
2. release a flock of canadian geese into the restaurant.
3. punch the next woman I see in the neck.
4. sit on my boss's lap and make out with his ear.
5. spend all day, every day on my laptop, not talking to anyone or taking my job seriously. oh, I already do that.
6. ride my bike to work, then all around the building. inside. my motorbike.
7. smear all the computer keyboards on my floor with my own fecal joy.
8. start taking a well-advertised poll on which member of the Exec. Committee likes to spend horizontal time with stray dogs.
9. while someone is presenting, fade out their microphone and play-in excerpts from hitler's recorded speeches.
10. write another letter like when i wrote this - letter of resignation
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