Wednesday, 30 September 2009

the a-team movie is being directed by joss whedon

i watch a lot of telly at work. daytime telly. telly in the day.

most of it is shit.

out of my blue, a complete shocker of a surprise occurred yesterday when i found it was even more shit than normal. while watching a daytime telly film starring steven baldwin called cutaways with my colleagues, we were caught right aback when we heard the word 'shit' broadcast at about 2pm. in the afternoon. day time. 'shit!'

we thought we were mistaken for a moment, but there it was in the compulsory subtitles we have at work - 'shit.'

now i'm not one of those who thinks swearing is one of the biggest sins. a well placed fuck can be immensely funny. but during the daytime? on daytime telly? in the day?


anyway, i thought it'd be a rare thing but i was watching bargain hunt today and... well... yep. there it was. seriously. in bargain hunt!.

when joss whedon made firefly he came up with a new common space language based on chinese and english. within that he used fake cuss words that sounded rude enough, while keeping the show more broadcastable: "i'm gonna punch you in the rutting mouth", "get out of my gorram way" etc.

in the new a-team film they should go the route of british daytime ITV instead of american sci-fi about marauding space pirates. we're far more hardcore, it seems. they should go totally obscene, and compete with the likes of scarface and south park: bigger, longer & uncut.
Murdock: I wish I could just jump in the water and live like a fish.
B.A. Baracus: Shut up fucka, you ain't no fish!

B.A. Baracus: I pity the shit-head who goes out tryin' a' take over da world, then runs home cryin' to his momma!

Narrator: In 1972 a shit-hot commando unit was sent to a fucking prison by a military cunt for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly fucked-off from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by arseholes, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire THE MOTHERFUCKING A-TEAM, MOTHERFUCKEEERRRRRRSSSSS!!!!!.
i love it when a plan cums together.

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