i'm going to go into advertising. it seems they let any old emotionally-dead stumper do it:
this advert actually makes me suicidal. i've had people tearing lawnmowers out of my hands and away from my own jugular, just after this adverts been on the telly-box. it takes over my logic circuits. in fact the first time it came on i blacked out completely and when i woke up i discovered i was running full-pelt towards the knife rack with my head down.
bloody knife rack.